“Believe in your heart that you're meant to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles.”
Roy T. Bennett - The Light in the Heart.
Hello blog. Yes, it is me and I know... it has been a year since my last writing. I just want to jot down some random thoughts here and unless doing so, I might sacrifice my sleep for tonight. So here it goes...
So apparently, I am currently at a very busy mode at this moment in my life since October 2019 after I became a licensed psychologist. Perhaps I may write about the entire journey in another date here. And as the months went by, the license was not actually being fully utilized in the sense that I am not working full time in the clinic as a clinician, rather, I became an academician teaching at my alma mater university - which was by the way, one of my fulfilled dreams since college.
So, my job require that I also conduct a research which is aligned to my research interests- but due to so many reasons, in one way or another, the paper cannot progress to its expected track for these two years. There has been these dilemmas at the back of my mind about how is it going to proceed or even the actual topic of the research may be. Will it be a quantitative 'scientific' paper'? Or will it be a qualitative 'in-depth' analysis paper? All throughout my years studying psychology, I have been a hard-headed anti-numbers person, preferring to align into the intuitive instead of the lifelessly cold side of the field that is dependent on numbers and peer-pressure to conform to the norms. And this is where, I think that the paper is taking so long to be conceptualized. I am thinking, what if I can confirm this hypothesis, and then what? Will it even make sense? If I'll pursue the much in-depth method which is time-consuming, will it be worth it?
These delays may have been costly considering that there are a lot of paper and abstract presentations with the online conferences and trainings that I attended, but then, why should I try so hard to pressure myself to produce or write something just for the sake of completing a requirement? I want to feel that I can write this paper whole-heartedly, with passion, and to know that I really worked hard for it.
Next, so this paper that I am writing about has some leanings with the concept of creativity and imagination. I had identified three variables namely: mental imagery, fantasy proneness and psychological well-being. I outlined the variables on an excel file and identified the guides I need to construct the first part of the paper, which is the introduction. Shown below is the title, the variables, and the guides for the review and introduction to the paper. I plan to do a multiple regression analysis for this quantitative research, but...
As I've written earlier, I am NOT a numbers person, so whatever this paper may produce may not make any sense to me as the author. And then, on the other side, if I will write a qualitative paper, I will definitely do it with passion and this excitement and curiosity about how the process will turn into a finished work- what I am looking for is the excitement and passion, and the curiosity of how things will turn out especially on the findings.
What actually motivates me to continue to write or pursue this paper (whatever its method will be) is my curiosity with the creative process and how images are produced in the mind and then how the creator observes or identify themselves with the process, and what the images actually means to them- I do not know for sure if it will be possible to achieve these goals given the time and commitments that I have right now. Then, I found myself tonight, having this sudden urge to write something here because I was watching a documentary about how a favorite band of mine, Kings of Convenience were coming up and working with a song entitled, Rocky Trail- how they came up with ideas and the work that came about with completing the project- which involved traveling across countries and doing recordings in various locations around the world. In addition, what I am actually looking for are statements coming from creatives like this post I encountered on Facebook:
“I enjoy drawing in many different ways, and I’d like to think that whatever comes out is the absolute truth and sincere expression of what it is I want to do. Whether I’m drawing on my sketchbook or my iPhone, I love making new images that I haven’t seen before. It’s all improvisation, and sometimes, it takes numerous drawings and studies to figure out how to get something interesting. I’m always looking for that exciting and unknown feeling, like hearing a new song for the first time.” — JAR (Jose Antonio Reyes)
The creative process is not always this linear and neat, or predictable to say the least. It involves tension, inspiration, passion, miracles, chaos and discovery in the process to create something new. I guess I may need to allot special time for this project as soon as my preparations are good and ready for delivery for the new school year.
That's it for now, thank you for reading. I will be frequenting this space for the time being.
