The Start of April: Forest Adventure (Bataan)

April started out as an unexpected adventure again. I spent the day traveling and nature trekking at a forest. It was a sort of secluded place with an entrance that would be mistaken as a farm. As we drove along the wide fields which were surrounded with many mango trees heavy with their fruits, I didn’t actually guess that we were going to a forest. There were many bamboo trees and heavy vegetation.

We stopped by a little place with huts and we ate our lunch served on banana leaves. Our meal was rice with crabs and some fish and softdrinks. The nature trek was accompanied with bright sunshine and clear skies. I was wrong for choosing to wear my high-heeled wedge sandals so the walk proved to be a bit difficult.

Nevertheless, with my uneasy steps while walking, I truly enjoyed looking at the mango trees, and their fruits hanging by within easy reach; watching the little brook surrounded with many bamboo trees; and breathing in the beauty of the surrounding scenery. Sundays are filled with memories of travels and adventures, and they’re truly enjoyable! I published some of the photos on this event on my portfolio.

Strengthening Ourselves

We all have our own weaknesses and limitations. That reality is a part of us being humans, because we are built imperfect. Along with these weaknesses come our own strengths and abilities. To maintain a balance between these two aspects require intelligence and an ability to reconcile the weaknesses with the strengths. There are as well other mediating aspects between weaknesses and strengths, such as perception (the way we see the world around us), attitude, personality, and how we adapt to changes and other factors that have an impact on our daily lives.

As we go on living our lives, we encounter a lot of things, people, and situations that may demand us to use all the aspects that were previously mentioned. There might be a situation wherein we have to think and decide how to respond to it. Our strengths, our weaknesses, our attitude and personality, as well as level of intelligence will all contribute to how we are going to respond to it. Most of the time, we are also influenced by our reasoning, emotions, biases, and motivations on making a decision. It might appear that dealing with all these daily decision-making can produce a certain amount of confusion to a person, but at the end of every choice, a person becomes more and more proficient in striking a balance within all the factors and aspects of his own self.

These processes happen to us everyday. There are some of us who easily adapt and respond to these tasks and make wise choices. They know how to balance the various aspects that affect the way they make their decisions and effectively do all of their activities. They are able to balance objective reason with proper emotions, and at the same time, they also succeed in overcoming their difficulties. They know how to compensate their weaknesses and limitations, and they also know how to adapt themselves to everyday situations. They are smart enough to identify the different personalities that they interact with everyday, and deal with them in harmonious ways thus maintaining positive relationships and proper communication.

But not all people are gifted with such abilities. Some are having difficulties in balancing the many processes that interact within their own selves, thus making decisions that they later regret. Some are unaware of their own needs and fail to recognize and respond to the demands of their everyday lives. They would often focus on seeing their own weaknesses and may not identify their own gifts and abilities. Some would succumb to despair and depression because they are unable to maintain a proper balance of the various aspects of their lives.

Such is human nature, full of complicated and intertwining aspects that need balance. As long as life goes on, there will always be demands and responsibilities which need to be responded to and accomplished. But we are not left unarmed to face these realities of life. As mentioned earlier, are all built with our own strengths and weaknesses. We are all endowed with intelligence, and gifted with many skills which we can use to make proper decisions and make accomplishments. We might be excellent with a certain field but weak on a certain task. The challenge lies on how we objectively reason and respond to these issues that affect us. Are we just going to accept the fact that we are weak on this or that task? Are we going to rest our laurels knowing that we are good at the field we specialized in? Are we going to stay on bed and sleep all day comfortably, or are we going to wake up and face the real world with all its challenges? Are we going to stay on our comfort zone or are we going to take risks of pursuing new heights which we have never yet reached?

We as humans must constantly challenge ourselves with these questions. And we must remember that if we are weak, we are at the same time, strong. What matters is how we transform the idea of ‘being weak’ (or weakness in another word), into a real and concrete form of ‘being strong’ (or strength in another word). It lies on how we redirect our mind and will-power so that we overcome these challenges and succeed in making a difference to our own selves.

Serene Afternoon (Orani, Bataan)

Saturday Adventures

Bougainvilleas

It was December last year when I was assigned to work at the library, and since then, every morning and afternoon, I look forward to having my daily walk and simply observe the beauty of the surrounding streets. Our place is not a particularly urban jungle with many buildings and high-class establishments, but it's rather simple: surrounded with shops, apartments, home subdivisions, and vacant lots. And beside the busy roads and highways, there are many trees which look like wide, and verdant canopies which envelope the concrete roads. These trees also have their own fall and springs seasons: there are specific months of the year when they would shed their leaves and replace them with young, new leaves; and some would bloom with many tiny yellow blossoms which would also fall to the ground while filling the air with an elegant fragrance.

Aside from these trees, I also like to look at the bougainvillea blossoms which are being used as hedges of a house nearby the library building. Colorful flowers are especially a rarity on street establishments. So having the privilege of seeing bloomfuls of magenta and purple while on my way to work and before I go home brings inspiration to may daily activities. It really brings joy to my eyes and my heart. Such a wonderful day! :)

Pretty in Pink

Last month, I bought my first digital camera, the Canon A1200, and since then, I had been truly enjoying using it. It was a very worthwhile addition to my everyday must-haves and though it was not truly that expensive, it certainly was much more than how it costs, and I'm glad to bring it with me especially when we travel and I need to capture the ordinary things, people and beautiful places we visit. Hopefully in the coming future, I can have my much awaited DSLR, but not in the meantime, that can wait.

For this month, there's a new addition to the family, and it's a pink hello-kitty keyboard. I know it looks very girly, with all the pink keys and white casing, which probably not coincides with the plain color motif of my room. But because I am beginning to like making changes lately, I chose to have it. My sister-in-law invited me to visit the little shop located on her hometown, so I agreed, and then, she suggested the pink keyboard for me. At first, I sort of hesitated. When I realized that since I'm using my keyboard everyday, why not have a change of look? So there, I got it, and now it sits quietly in front of my PC together with the hello-kitty alarm clock my sister-in-law gave me as a present a few months ago. I never expected to have such an understanding and helpful sister, because I'm so used to being the only girl in our house. Now I have sister. :)

Sunday Sea Adventures (Olongapo, Zambales)

Nature Stroll after the Friday Prayer (Floridablanca, Pampanga)

Living in the city, with all its latest developments and technology, including interacting with many kinds of people everyday, accompanied by constant noise and pollution can be very tiring, interspersed with all kinds of complications, stress, and emotional baggage.

So I always long for the quiet and peaceful life of being with nature. As much as possible, I retreat to always being alone and simply marvel with the beauty of nature God created. I'd prefer silence and solitude and look at the soil with a little flower growing on it.

Me, Lately

For the past few days, I had been feeling quite unwell. I accidentally bit my tongue, and I didn't realized it until I felt that my tongue had been aching and bleeding for days because of a wound. It's taking quite longer for it to heal and somehow, I'm not really used to having a wound like this, it's very uncomfortable. On another note, lately, my appetite had been good so far and Alhamdulillah, I am gaining my normal weight. Also, I love to savor the taste of yummy recipes at home. I frequently make an iced drink refreshment every dinner with a secret ingredient (it starts with a letter g and ends with letter e).

I'd like to share to others my cheeriness, especially to my younger siblings. Laughing over hearty jokes when we go home makes a very light atmosphere for everyone. It's really an effort most of the time, and I'm doing it constantly to reinforce the habit of positivity. A lot of my time had been taken away and wasted over very annoying and nonsense trifles, worries, and unrealistic pessimism, which lately, I realized are of no benefit for me to become a better person.

I'm being particularly a bit laid back and like dressing up. My style reflects a lot more of cozy comfort and somewhat those of little girls, with flowers, and pink, and white, every now and then. I also like to wear high heels with stilettos, and am looking forward to buy high-cut boots. I have boots at home, but I dislike the loud clinking sounds that they make while I walk, especially over smooth floors. So for that matter, I'll be looking for noiseless, high-heeled boots.

Book-wise, I've been losing interest over reading fiction. I am much more into reading Islamic books which deal with practical reality, inspire me, strengthen my faith and bring me peace of mind. Among my reading list which I particularly like are: Don't Be Sad by Dr. Aidh Al Qarni, and The Noble Qur'an. My goal is to be a more peaceful, and God-fearing person, and I'd like to develop a stronger sense of discretion and conviction in choosing what is good and avoiding what is evil. Knowing oneself and ones purpose in life (to worship our Creator), is what truly brings my mind and heart to rest. It is what truly makes me happy. :-)

Friday Outdoors

Unnoticed Beauty

Wednesday Afternoon

Today, I dropped the third and second lessons via mail and also checked the mailbox at the post office. The afternoon was particularly hot, the roads were filled with smoke coming from the cars and occasional dust from the sidewalks spread on the air. Except for the flower-stands, trees, plants, and blue sky, nothing was particularly pretty as I observed, sitting with the side-open windows on the public jeep. The buildings are dilapidated, the store fronts are untidy, the streets are filled with trash, I couldn't see any place which is simple, clean, cozy, and pretty. It's all dusty, noisy, and bustling. The ruggedness leaves me a bit disappointed. The downtown market was busy with people, some students have just finished their classes and were on their way home. The faces of people were steady-set, most of them might have been tired throughout the day. The hot weather must have some effect on people's moods and I think it adds to additional stress on everyday activities.

On the other hand, I enjoy riding the jeep. I find it sort of adventuresome to see en plein aire outside sights and places. There's some order and beauty amid of it all, and I hope to see this town transform into a much better and improved place. I look forward to that. :)

Perspective Changing

Memories.  Looking back at them, nostalgia brings a feeling fondness and warmth. Memories teach me a lot of lessons about life, to chart my own progress, and to find solutions to some present things that I have to solve. Mistakes in the past and how I corrected them so that I won't make them again today makes me look back at the past so that I'm prepared as to what I'm going to anticipate. I also see the past as not entirely separated from the present, that there's a pattern of continuity to both, and even to the future. That was how I used to think. As the years went by, growing up, my mode of viewing events and memories was as constant as how I could remember. How I perceived events, things, people, were like a one-track way of seeing, though as I go along the way of discoveries, adventures, reading, writing, making art, interacting with people, strengthening my faith and reflecting about life, the more I realize that I cannot entirely forget memories and discard them - they still have an effect with how my life is in  the present. Within my own silent world devoid of things and people artificial, I am constantly learning more and more of seeing through a clearer lens which may seem vague to others who don't understand. There are many events which happen that I don't understand - and it takes time, a long time before I truly comprehend. My understanding is very limited, and when it is fully formed, it grows firmly rooted in my mind.

Rewinding events until I arrive to the present, I realize that I'm getting older. Not 'older' in the sense of aging, but 'older' in the sense of having to mature, of having to change my perspectives. I realized that over-thinking about the past is only a facade. The real reason behind which is my ideal of resistance to change - of being constant. The past, the present, the future - TIME - they are connected, but I have to accept that they are not the same. Time changes, and everything changes. Even my perception is getting more and more vague because I am making a huge effort of seeing the events in my life as 'constant'. I resist change, and I have to know why. Maybe I need to make a complete closure before letting memories go, that I don't want to take risks, that I fear that I might not be able to adapt to change. But here I am, sometimes, it's like I am looking at life with a pair of tunnel-vision glasses. The truth will tell me that what I'm seeing is actually a 'distorted image'. It may take some time, but now that I am in this stage of my life, that I have to adapt and accept change.

Memories. I might put them neatly in the past - to look back at them occasionally - but I have to check if they prevent me from becoming what I truly should become. There are things that remain constant, there are events quite difficult to understand, there are questions which are not answered. To learn to trust and have more faith as to where God will lead me in life brings me peace of mind. And if I cannot understand, I will surrender it to Him alone. In due time, inshaAllah, He will make me understand. I've seen it and felt it  before: that letting go of old thinking is like making a brand new start. It's very refreshing of being stripped away of old, old constricted thinking, it's like being freed of a heavy burden weighing on my shoulders. Old thinking is becoming obsolete and not suited to the present. It is good to consider change -  a better change and a clearer perspective.

Sandy Trail

Everyday, I go to walk to the library on a sandy trail sidewalk; cars, jeeps, and motors rushing on the road beside me. Dead leaves and occasional trash are scattered all over, and my wedge-shaped sandals are getting a bit deformed - since I also have to walk through some rocks and pebbles. 

I like gazing at the trees and skies sometimes as I go back to our shop when I close the library. The trees and skies add to the natural beauty of the place against the backdrop of noisy autos rushing on the road, and busy people walking to and fro.

Sleepy

Hello blog! This is quite a sleepy and laid back day for me. Yesterday I finished mailing the second lessons for the students, including the first lessons for the new students. While I was on my way back to the office, I realized that I forgot to buy postage stamps! So this probably might be the result of getting old: being so randomly forgetful. The roads were filled with traffic, so when I was nearing the office, I hurriedly stepped out of the jeep and managed to walk faster than the jeep! The traffic was like a slow turtle crawling...since it was a rush hour, students and workers were hurriedly going home thus the piling of cars and jeeps.

As of now, I'm waiting for lunch time and my abdomen is a bit aching, though that not bad. I really feel sleepy...and I'm just letting time pass...reading books and attempting to write, browsing photographs, and thinking random thoughts - basically, not so much of stress lately. I also received a beautiful gift yesterday from my parents! Hopefully we'll be going out tonight together with my two young siblings for a mall stroll...makes me so excited! :)

I'm just waiting for this sleepiness to subside.

That's it for now. :) Till next time dearee.

With lots of love and creative inspirations, coming from the always lovely weirdo,

Maica :)

Some Reminders

"This world is cursed along with all that is in it, except for these: the remembrance of Allah, what follows it (i.e. good deeds and whatever Allah loves), the scholar and the student." 

- Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)

Live according to your reality, without always envisioning the ideal life, one that is free from worry and toil. Accept life as it is and adapt accordingly to circumstances. Flawlessness and perfection are qualities that are foreign in this life. It is necessary for us to make amends; to take what is easy and leave what is difficult; and very frequently, to overlook the faults and mistakes of others.

***

Truly, the life of this world is short and its treasures are few. The Hereafter is better and everlasting, and whosoever is afflicted here shall find his reward there. And whosoever works hard here shall find ease there. And as for those who cling to this world, who are attached to it, and who are in love with it, the hardest thing for them to bear would be to lose the world's comfort and riches: they desire to enjoy this life alone...What they perceive around them is this life alone: they are blind to its impermanence and insignificance.

***

When Allah, the Exalted, takes something away from you, He compensates you with something better, but only if you are patient and seek your reward from Him.

***

It is impossible for things to remain the same. The days and years rotate, the future is unseen, and everyday Allah has matters to bring forth. You know it not, but it may be that Allah will afterward bring some new thing to pass. And verily, with hardship, there is relief.

***

The important thing to know is that tomorrow is from the world of the unseen, a bridge that we do not cross until it comes, or a bridge that will collapse before we reach it, or we may actually reach it and cross it safely. 

Since you are absorbed in the toils of today, leave tomorrow until it comes. Beware of becoming unduly attached to future prospects in this world. 

***

Former days are gone and done with, and you benefit nothing by carrying out an autopsy over them, by turning back the walls of history...

Episodes of the past are finished with; sadness cannot retrieve them, melancholy cannot make things right...

Everything on earth marches forward, preparing for a new season - so should you.

[Source: Don't Be Sad by Dr. Aidh Al Qarni]

Afternoon Snack

Orchids

The Orchids are blooming again on our house. :-)

Trip to Marshes: A Breezy Afternoon (Bataan)

The wind was very strong and cool yesterday, when we visited my sister-in-law’s relatives.  We spent an afternoon picnic on a wide area of fishponds which resembled very serene marshlands. My mom cooked sautéed vermicelli with chicken and vegetables. My parents bought some drinks and snacks as well, and I especially love the freshly-cooked corn my mom bought on a roadside stall.

By mid-afternoon, the strong winds were accompanied with gentle drizzles of rain, and I enjoyed observing the wide stretches of land which were made into fishponds. I sat on an unused boat and savored the fresh wind while I played scattering seeds from ipil-ipil fruits. The place was filled with many kinds of grass and greenery, some of which I’m not quite familiar with. There were even trees which resembled mangroves; they have exposed roots, large leaves and pod-shaped fruits. We trekked on a narrow pathway lined with grasses. Some grass resembled fluffy cattails—such a beautiful sight, but unfortunately, I didn’t have a decent camera (as usual) to document the beautiful surroundings. By the time my father drove us home, the rain was falling. 

The weather is cold and the rain is still drizzling as of this writing. I love the coldness of the weather; it’s very cozy and better paired with a hot cup of chocolate.   

Old Writing

One good thing about looking at the past and its memories, is that it allows one to gain insights on how much progress a person has made in the present. It's refreshing to look back at memories, both good ones and not-so-good ones.

I had been writing since I was in grade school, when I was selected by my teacher to be a journalist in our campus paper. I wrote newspaper articles and participated on inter-school workshops and contests. During high-school, I continued my writing, mostly this time, of poetry and personal journals and insights. I was not content merely of reading books and learning from them. I also wished to see my written output being published and shared to others as well. I had quite a number of friends and acquaintances back then, but my aloof and distant nature allowed me to carve a certain and well- cultivated world that paved way to writing and literary imagination. I would compose poems and essays secretly and one thing that's very odd of me was was that after writing, I will destroy them, tearing all the paper into pieces. Thus, I wasn't able to collect my written works which I could probably have viewed until today. There were even instances when I collected my papers and notebooks and burned them all to ashes. When I was nearing the end of my high-school, I even wrote that ten years from then,. I might be working as a journalist. However, compared to writing, I was more actively participating in poster-making and art contests, but sadly enough, my own style as a whole, was under-appreciated. As I approached college, I decided to re-assert my journalistic inclinations, so I joined the university publication. As a staff-writer, I wrote news articles, magazine features, field photo assignments, and explored further creative writing, particularly poetry. I rubbed some pastel sticks on felt paper and manipulated the finished works into digital artworks and gladly, they were featured on a small literary book, 'Digmaang Rosas,' including my poem entitled, 'Walang Dahon.' There were a number of disappointments back then, when I was not allowed to publish a news article, so eventually, I attributed it to a fellow writer. Around second year in college, I decided to quit on the publication. There were conflict of interests, so I decided to simply stop.

In between breaks in my classes, I would frequently visit libraries and scourge through books. I was very happy to find those moments of isolation where I would immerse myself and learn various fields: psychology, philosophy, history, art, literature, spirituality, and a lot of other subjects. There were many books to choose from and most of them, I could hardly remember. I am almost always surprised that while reading, I can personally relate to the authors' voices while at the same time, learning from them.