27th Update

I started a new painting around three days ago and I recycled a canvas cloth which I used as a background for an exhibit which I organized when I was in college. The old painting is still seen behind the layers of white primer, but as the work progresses, the old background will recede and a new landscaped cottage garden will take its place. :)

An everyday note...

I just arrived home. Its Sunday, and me, together with the younger ones went for a stroll around the market and mall. I bought a skirt from my favorite thrift store, ate a yummy snack, and afterwards went to a bookstore and bought a pen refill and and a new set of sketch pad. It's a bit of relaxing to come and see the world outside every once in a while.

26th Update

"I am not afraid to keep on living..

I am not afraid to walk this world alone."

-MCR

I finally conquered my enemy. I have met many women like me who suffered, sacrificed themselves and their happiness, and loved with their whole heart. But they were betrayed by men who were multiple timers, opportunists, perverts, and liars.

In the end, these women emerged as victors, standing up again stronger than before, caring for themselves again, spreading kindness and compassion to their children, family, friends, and people in need, and most of all, making a difference. Faith in God and strength of character shines on them.

Thus, I can say that success and happiness are their sweetest when the worst of pain and hardship was defeated and over.

25th Update

It’s been days and I am excited to update and catch up with my blog! :) My PC literally refused to boot and it got repaired just yesterday. Gladly, all my files were stored on the second hard drive and they weren't affected by the PC reformat. I’m sitting here in front of the shop, writing on my notebook. It’s a bright Sunday morning  with clear skies. I've been busy for days, waking up at around 3 or 4am and working for the rest of the day. Though my schedule is busy, I never miss praying, organizing myself, read good books, daydream, listen to my soundtracks, draw, paint, plan, and write (as I am doing today). It’s really a must for me to nurture these activities, and be in touch with my inner world.

Lately, I’ve been reading good books which I find really life and perspective changing. It’s surprising how they taught and challenge me to question a lot of my previously held psychological insights and to discover that all these years, my thoughts were actually a prisoner of many of these theories. Much of what I learned before focused on ever-analyzing negative issues over and over, trying to find solutions for them, but eventually, lead me into being stuck on a past that won’t come back.

Now, I’m learning again on a more positive perspective, finding new ways to re-frame my thoughts towards those which are more important and useful. It has further nurtured my creative, social, and spiritual life, strengthening my mind and faith. I’m glad and very grateful to God for giving me ample time and resources to reflect and re-analyze my purposes and goals in life. I was constantly asking questions why someone and some dreams were lost, and I realized that God must be giving me signs that it’s not yet the right time. I still have to accomplish my goals and a lot of activities before it’s the proper time for me to be given such blessings. :)

I do love challenges, so in that note, there’s always hope to live everyday with a purpose to look forward to achieving, a clear direction in life, and be happy. Along with that, we must always strive to develop our talents and intellect. When we overcome the negativity that prevents us from nurturing ourselves, blessings are appreciated and the past is looked upon with smiles.

On a brighter note, I went to Angeles University Foundation last week to inquire for the upcoming NMAT (National Medical Admissions Test) to prepare for Medical School to pursue my studies as a psychiatrist. Gladly, I went there just in time. I was informed that the upcoming NMAT applications will be released sometime between September or October. I’ve been preparing for this exam for the past three years and finally, God has given me the time to pursue it. I’m excited!

With lots of love and creative inspirations, coming from the lovely and weirdo.

Maica

24th Update

Meadow Garden: A Work In Progress (Watercolour on Paper)

23rd Update

All Pretty Latest Oil Painting

22nd Update

To Do List For Today:

1. Clean the closet and fold my clothes.

2. Arrange and make an inventory for my books.

3. Finish the first two frames.

4. Take a bath.

5. Go outside and take hot coffee or chocolate.

Getting Organized for the Start Of A New Month :)

21st Update

School Nostalgia

It's been three years since I last stepped foot on my school and it was really nostalgic. There had been many changes, the stairs on the library are now a bit rugged and the varnished chairs had some scratches on them, there was a plaza and a wide road leading to the chapel and a new building stood near our college building. The aura was still a bit the same, though. The students are busy with their schoolwork, friends, activities, there were still the same old fashionistas wearing high heels, the students who are so absorbed with their own busy lives and friendships.

I missed this kind of life, when I would walk and almost run with my high heels just so I can catch up with my class schedules, carrying a pile of books proudly while my classmates are busy fixing make-up, talking and enjoying the free time after classes. I enjoyed reading and discovering a lot of things at the library and in my favorite subjects, taking new adventures when I travel places and walk on the streets, observing people and the surroundings. I was filled with wonder, sense of curiosity and happiness, even though my mind and body is tired. I converse and meet many kinds of people and share them with faith, life experiences, wisdom, and fields of interests and knowledge.

I missed being a student who is driven with goals and dreams, and is always excited to widen her horizons. Visiting the university library, I am planning to expose myself to academic life again, God willing.

The Library

As I was browsing the social sciences section, I came up with a book that caught my attention, and it was entitled, Introvert Power: Why Your Hidden World Can Be Your Hidden Strength by Laurie Helgoe. Although I didn't read it in-depth, taking small dips within its pages, I rediscovered this aspect in me that had troubled me for quite sometime. The book hopefully will give me an open door to to re-strengthen myself in terms of my own individuality and reconnect with my hopes and dreams for the future.

The university library is composed of various sections and it is housed on a huge, state-of-the-art, glass-covered building. On the first level, you can see the Graduate School Section, General Reading Section, Periodicals Section which also contains magazines and academic journals, Filipiniana Section and the Thesis Section. The second level is the General Circulation Section which contains all subjects in all colleges. My favorites here are psychology, English literature, architecture, and art.

I love the quietness in this place,. I browse sections after sections and find my place beside the glass walls overlooking the scenery outside, and when night comes, the walls turn into mirrors. I am very drawn to this place, with its quietness and serenity. When I read and take my mind into various horizons, I am fascinated and the books become a part of my world too. This is a part of my world. When all the world outside is filled with conflict and chaos, you can find me here, sitting quietly on one corner and filling my mind with useful knowledge and wisdom.

Psychology

As a student of psychology, I am especially inclined toward the study of subjective experience, of knowing ones own self (self-awareness), ones behavior, interests, modes and ways of thinking, ones relation to the world, and most of all, ones relation to the Almighty Creator. My patterns of thinking had been shaped from from how I interpret the events that happen in my life and the behavior of the people whom I observe. I learned a lot of ways of how to better understand the workings of my mind through the classic theories of psychoanalysis and analytical psychology -- which enriched my ways of knowing of how to delve deeper into my own psyche and the psyches of the people who come into my life. They all use techniques such as writing, art, and retreats as ways to discover the forces that guide us in our behavior and personality. I learned most of these aspects in subjective psychology through reading books in the library and writing my insights about them.

Aside from these theories, I am also focused on cognitive psychology which can be approached using the experimental method and behavior can be measured using standard psychological tools. Social psychology also taught me how a certain individual's behavior can be shaped through the people and environment he is surrounded with -- either he can maintain his unique set of traits or compromise them in order to find a sense of belonging, conformity and safety in the society he lives in. Discussing everything about my days as a psychology student will probably exhaust this little essay and I think it will be more exciting if I'm going to write it in-depth on a future project, God willing.    

Among my favorite books are research papers and essays on clinical psychology, assessment, psychopathology, psychoanalysis, and subjects which tackle on creativity. I love reading books which do not simply contain numbers and dry facts, but those which make and give meaning and depth to psychology as an important field of knowledge.

Art

A noteworthy book that I encountered was Dada, Surrealism, and their Heritage. It was not fully a coffee-table table book in particular with colored pages in them, but rather, it was a black-and-white book containing text with deep analysis of the art concept of Dada and Surrealism and their significance during the second world war. Art was used as a means of conveying and communicating the social problems existing which caused disturbances, if not degradation of human values, and even of human life. Psychoanalysis was also tackled, especially in the art of surrealism. Surrealism attempted to translate and even expound on the workings of the unconscious mind as proposed by the psychoanalytic theory. It portrayed bizarre subjects, most motifs found on dreams and nightmares and those which dared defy reality.

The true artist is not one who imitates what she sees physically, but rather, she reinterprets what is perceived as outside reality into something which is otherwise uniquely understood according to the mind's eye.

On the other hand, the eye candy that I wished I have was Varieties of Visual Experience. Every page was filled with colorful reproductions of works by artists from the renaissance to the postmodern period. Alongside the works, the contents occupied art criticism, how each work was meant to be interpreted and in what context does the work of art truly represented. Alongside with Varieties of Visual Experience, I also remembered reading Surrealism: The Dream of the Revolution, It was also a color-filled book which draws most of its art-analysis on psychoanalytic terms. It attempted to explain the significance of exploring the human unconscious through the means of art in order to reveal the various implications of human and social issues.

These are not attempts to over-summarize the books, but rather, these are simply insights that I had when I was reading them. There were many journals, essays, and books that I encountered when I was still a student, and hopefully, God willing, I will further my scholarly interests and studies in the near future.

20th Update

One of   the best times that happened in my life is these days when I have the time and the freedom to be extraordinary and pursue my dreams!  


This is my world and I love it!

19th Update

On the Art of Roses

One of the subjects that I'm currently focused on is the rose. I consider it as one of the most beautiful of flowers and the most challenging to draw and paint. It comes in varied forms, sizes, shapes, colors, texture, and style. Rendering a rose into an artistic form, you can imagine that you can use many shades of color by just drawing or painting a single blossom. I think it deserves special attention to by artists who work on interpreting and magnifying nature's details.

When it comes to painting roses, I'm still on the process of finding which techniques are effective per medium. With watercolor pencil, I start with making simple sketches of every layer of petal.

For a simple sketch, I use three shades of the same color. First, using the darkest color, I shade and define the edges and shadows including the darker areas of the petals. After that, I emphasize the lighter areas of the rose using the same color with the lighter tone, at the same time, leaving a bit of white areas uncolored. The final step is to wet the shaded areas together in order to mingle the colors and thus achieve the final touches of the composition.

The intricate details and nuances of roses is an aspect that really challenges me to draw them. To be able to render them realistically while staying true to reinterpreting them in an honest artistic form requires practice, patience, discipline, a sense of consistency, emotional involvement and careful observation. I also take time to pass by flower shops and observe the details of the blossoms that I see. I also have my little rose garden in our home which gives me a lot of inspiration for my art. I feel a sense of wonder and happiness by just looking at them.


Sometimes, I get a bit disappointed when I don't get the desired effect for the details or the overall composition (disappointment do happen, it's just how we deal with them that matters) but as I go on through the process, I learn to accept my mistakes and discover more creative ways to correct them. It's either I leave them behind if I simply cannot find the solutions, or I go on and find ways to innovate and improve the aspects that need to be given consideration.

I find it a fulfilling and exciting to journey to embark on new works and start on subjects and mastering the medium as I go along the way. I am almost always delighted to see every work get finished knowing how much every pencil sketch and brush stroke meant to me as I worked from start to finish. it was a work that comes from the heart and the workings of the mind. Each form is both an analysis and expression; a meaningful whole.

I'm learning everyday and it is a bittersweet life that I live. Each step, each process is always an opportunity, an open door to make more meaningful art and to be a happy, content, and a better person.

18th Update

"... Allah has forgiven what is past..." (Qur'an 5:95)

The one who has deep insight understands the nature of people and how things may change; he puts himself in the other person's shoes and understands situations both obvious and hidden.

The person who has deep insight understands realities, and knows that when he is faced with a problem or when things do not turn out the way he wanted, and that no one is totally content with his lot; a person may dislike something which is good for him or he may delight in something which is bad for him, and goodness is to be found in that which Allah, the Exalted decrees.

The person who has deep insight feels that he is a part of this great universe, and that he will have a share of pain and grief, but also of happiness. He does not get unaware by things,  nor does he feel that he is the only one who is suffering as does the one who has little insight, who thinks that he is the only one who is faced with this problem, or that people are out to get him, or that he always has bad luck. The one who has deep insight does not feel any such thing, rather, he understands the way life is, and he knows that he is a part of it, so he accepts it after doing his utmost to do what is best.

[Source: You Can Be The Happiest Woman In The World by Dr. Aidh Al Qarni]

17th Update

Finally, I already have linseed oil! I can now paint more easily and be able to mix oil colors well on canvass surface and I no longer need to rely on handpainting my works because I can use brushes now.

Here's the linseed oil that I bought yesterday. It's water mixable and therefore, more lasting and easier to use.

 

Linseed oil allows colors to blend well and therefore produce lovely effects. I can move the brush freely along the surface and there's no need to apply lots of hard paint.

16th Update

A box of chocolates from a very far place! :)

15th Update

14th Update

detail roses with flowers and cherries. (Watercolour on paper)

 

detail with fruits, chocolate, cake, and bouquet. (Watercolour on paper)

I enjoy the hustle and bustle of my life since these last few weeks. I keep myself busy with my everyday work at the shop, monitoring our sales, customers, drivers, and acquaintances and I also love to take dips with colors and pretty flowers and good food being my current watercolor subjects. I really can't explain fully how I feel with things, it's just that I feel content with having a simple life and being surrounded with real people. I love spending my quiet afternoons with just leaning my forehead towards my desk to take rest while hearing the sounds of daily work going around me.

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13th Update

Finally, I was able to finish my third oil painting. I added the last details last Sunday and the piece is waiting to dry before I spray-paint it with lacquer. Here's how it partly looks like.  

I'll probably wait for three weeks before the paint is completely dry so I can paint the last coat of lacquer and have it framed (if I have enough money on the pocket). As of this time, I am very excited to start the fourth painting and I wonder what will be the subject like. I'll be needing new canvass cloth or maybe recycle the old cloth that I used before. i am very excited. :D

By the way, my little young brother said that the painting is ugly. What do you think?

12th Update

Art is a rather expensive pursuit, but I consider it as an important everyday activity. It allows me to express though drawings and paintings the things I’d rather not express verbally and it makes me happy and in touch with my yearnings to see peace, beauty, color, and order in the world I live in. I am as well, very drawn and specific in seeing details in everything, so when I observe another work of art, or do something which is mine, I pay very special attention to the details.

As of this time, I am finishing my third oil painting but still I haven’t had an idea on how to put the final details on the composition. In addition, I also need a bottle of linseed oil because the oil pigments that I’m using are highly concentrated and linseed oil will make the pigments stick well to the surface and is also important for all the colors to blend together and easy to manage. I’ve been rummaging for weeks on an art store trying to find the cheaper brand of linseed oil that I’m using, but as of now, there are still no stocks available, while the other store has another more expensive brand which I can’t afford. I managed to simply hand-paint the grass, leaves, and stone pathways which occupied the center-space of the composition, and although they are well painted in terms of surface area, they looked a bit dull and two-dimensional. I have to work on improving techniques, especially in using brushes with oil pigments, color mixing and efficiency, proper perspective rendering, shadows and lighting, and the overall skill of painting itself. I believe that oil painting is very pricey and it needs a lot of focus, practice and time—but the results are very rewarding, seeing a finished beautiful work of art that reminds me of a work done with lots of passion and full of personal meanings.

While on the other hand, I’m enjoying the watercolor medium as well and compared to using oils, watercolors allow me to give extra emphasis on the finer details of drawing and painting. I have greater control and flexibility because the watercolor pencils that I’m using have pointed tips which allow me to compose well-detailed drawings, and I can also blend colors well by brushing the colored surfaces with water using a fine tipped brush. Just like oil, watercolor paintings also need to be done with proper focus and care so that the finished pieces will be beautiful. Aside from watercolor and oil, I also have a gouache color set which I used on one particular piece. Gouache is also much like watercolor, but compared to the latter, gouache is more opaque and it cannot be blended by color glazing, unlike watercolor. Gouache produce very lively and vivid colors depending on the amount of water mixed. I also like it because it is more affordable since it only requires water as its mixing agent. I only used it once, so I also have to work on improving painting on this medium. 

- Maica

11 June 2011

I’m starting to be confident with my techniques even though I believe that I still have a lot to learn and a long way to go in this process.

11th Update

It was a bright and sunny day and as soon as we opened the shop, I headed straight to Angeles Electric Corporation to pay our shop’s electric bills. The streets are busy with people walking to and fro and vehicles rushing past another.

As I walked my way, observing sights,  I was shocked and delighted to see large blooms of roses being sold! It was a really a dream come true, and I rushed to ask the lady selling them, how much does each plant cost, and she told me that each cost seventy-five pesos. And so, after paying the electric bills, I hurriedly went back to the rose shop and asked for a red rose plant with healthy growth. As I chose from one plant to another, I noticed that all of them grow from a healthy mother plant. I first chose a red rose, which was combined with a white rose, so it was actually two plants in one pot. After that, I chose a pink rose with buds waiting to bloom. I paid for three plants for the price of two. God willing, I’ll come back this Friday to buy another pair with those salmon colored and white tinged ones! I’m so excited! Rainy days are coming by and the weather will be good for my new roses!

10th Update

Hello blog! I took a stroll at the mall and I decided to try out this coffee shop, and here's what I tasted, a frapuccino green tea topped with cream and a slice of banana cake. It was slightly expensive, but worth it. :)

9th Update

Roses under the sun!

This Sunday lunchtime, I spotted my potted roses with their leaves and blooms reflecting the sunlight. I was washing my clothes and cooking and I thought of taking a snapshot of two blooms and they looked very cute, much like a couple indeed!.

8th Update

Here are some of the works that I had been doing these past few days. Some of them are still works on progress, while others are waiting to be mounted on glass frames. The transformers watercolor illustration is an item that I initially planned to submit on Mike Shinoda's transformers artwork contest.