Existence of God

Though there be not a few who deny the existence of God, 'for the fool hath said in his heart there is no God.'... yet the Deity has imprinted upon the human mind so many unquestionable tokens of Himself and so many traces of Him are apparent throughout the whole of nature that no one in his senses can remain ignorant of truth. There can be no doubt that everything in the world by the beauty of its order and the evidence of a determinate and beneficial purpose which pervades it, testifies that some supreme efficient Power must have pre-existed by which the whole was ordained for a specific end.

No one however can have right thoughts of God with nature, or reason alone as his guide, independent of the word or message of God... God therefore has made as full a revelation of Himself as our minds can conceive of the weakness of our nature can bear... Such knowledge of the Deity as was necessary for the salvation of man, He has Himself of His goodness been pleased to reveal abundantly... The names and attributes of God either to show His nature or His divine power and excellence.

- John Milton, A Treatise Relating to God (manuscript found in the old State Paper Office in Whitehall)

Bibliothèque

After dropping the mail at the post office yesterday, I decided to visit my old school library, a plan which I kept on putting off for so many months. I was very excited to see my old friends again (the books) that had accompanied me when I escaped from my classes. I actually had a little bit of reminiscence of the library on this entry.

En Plain Aire

Dear blog! There's no Baguio Series update.

What was supposed to be a weekend travel was postponed, and perhaps re-scheduled :(. Nonetheless, there are so many blooms around me, so it was like I was in Baguio, except that there are no pine trees. My niece went to our terrace garden and helped me water the plants, pick flowers, and she played all around jumping here and there. She's growing up fast and smart, and it seems like it's just yesterday that she's a small baby. And my cat joined us in our stay at the garden. And then we walked at the sandy trail outside.

A Lovely Morning with Long-Tail Baby

Our home is surrounded with some plots of untended land where wildflowers and grass grow. I find it very inspiring everyday when I go out and I happen to glance over the natural beauty. Once again, my cat, Captain Helix Long-Tail Baby (queer name isn't it?) who follows me wherever I go, accompanied me on my stroll and modeled for me at the garden. This morning is not quite as cold anymore as did the past weeks, and the sun is shining warmly.

In sha Allah, I will be traveling tomorrow to go to Baguio City and update my Baguio series again. Stories and photos are coming up next week!

Before I forget, I sort of wrote an emotional writing a day ago. It's a form of catharsis, which however unsightly it may be, had become a weird habit I had developed through the years. What's even weirder is that I do lots of catharsis as such on pieces of paper or on my notebooks, and then burn or tear them up to pieces after a few hours or days.

It's being human, being human - all of us sharing a collective nature of experiencing grief, sorrow and confusion. But no matter how we deal with the unfortunate events in our lives, there is HOPE that lives within. God. Allah.

That's it for now and stay blessed! ;)


With lots of love,
- Maica

Human(ity)

Dear blog, how had you been doing? It's been quiet here lately just that photographs just fill the spaces in between. The start of this year I must admit had been sort of a roller-coaster ride for me and I will only lie if I say that all is smooth-sailing, that there are no 'hardships and struggles'. Days that were spent alone at work brooded so many thoughts that had laid dormant since my younger years, but those thoughts sparked again due to a very terrible trial. In as much as the middle of last year when I realized that my faith and connection to the Almighty had been getting stronger, and I was at the point of working my way to be the best who I have to be for Him, unavoidable trials came again, one after the other. I described it to a recently met friend like a 'wound that is almost healing and then someone came with a knife and sliced the wound open and kept on burrowing his hand all over it.' Words aren't even enough to fully describe the pain of the re-opened wound. It's like I can't help asking the question why a person who is so willing to help other people in need will be wounded by them in ways terribly severe and damaging. How despite the night vigils and blackened traces on ones forehead, one asks for God, for the mercy of ones Creator, the opposite happens? When and how will this end? Amid all the terrible pain in my chest, I pray that if death is better for me, that He take away my soul the soonest possible time, because I am very tired...I am bruised all over, the pain in my heart had surpassed any physical pain I had endured all my life. That the moment my heart stops beating and be buried deep in the ground is better for me than to live always like this: enduring one tragedy after the other. They say that trials and difficulties strengthen a person, perhaps that is the way it is for them. But in my case, it seems that everyday, I am getting weaker and weaker. I can't even imagine how much tears my eyes had shed for the past five years. I had just almost recovered from one grief and another and another came again... I feel afraid that none of what I do will ever make sense... Nothing makes sense anymore to me, I am a human being, I cannot achieve the perfection of sincerity towards my Creator when from all sides the devil whispers and influences my thoughts and actions. When and where will I ever achieve certainty and safety? When I read His Book, I feel guilty, and confused...Where is truth? Where is honesty? Where is loyalty? Where is purity? Are humans to be even compared to objects or material things, to fill up base sensations? Aren't we beings with souls and spirits hoping to achieve the highest values that are meant for us?

This is not a happily hypocritical writing, but a lingering truth. A vulnerable humanity.

Setting Sun Across Rice Fields

Golden Leaves

Vibrant

A Quick Sketch 3

A Quick Sketch 2

A Quick Sketch 1

At the Sea

Jardin Extérieur

This is where I spend my afternoons and sometimes evenings: tending the garden, basking under the sun, listening to the twittering birds, looking at the clouds, stars, and moon, and having some coffee while breathing the fresh afternoon air. The weather is particularly cold lately, but what's a little surprising is that the sun is also shining.

The wind from the north pole is perhaps making the air cold especially during mornings.