16 April 2012

Switching to the Present

After a handful of turbulent, roller-coaster years, I am now ready to face the world again. I don’t mean that I lived behind closed doors, because my life had been spent quite largely under open skies. What I mean is that, I am now ready to face the challenges that await me, this time, hopefully, with calmness and presence of mind. The events that happened and how I learned from them should be enough to serve as lessons as I start my journey again. Sometimes, nostalgia sets in, but it takes only one second to finally reconcile and come to terms with the past, after all, it’s totally absurd to go back and change the past! So why be so stuck? Just let it be. Having to accept brings me assurance, peace of mind. And besides, I don’t have a remote control or a time machine to go back to time and make things right or the way I wanted them to be. I realized that it’s indeed true that we tend to want things which are not good to us, and we also dislike things which are good to us. God has different ways where He teaches us many lessons about life, and most of the time, through ordinary or unexpected events. I have learned that God’s plans are better, and to keep faith and trust in His wisdom is the best thing to do.
So, how did things went for this girl who wanted to be a scientist and psychologist? (Sigh) Thinking about it, it’s been three years since I finished my bachelor’s degree in psychology (so what now), a course which during my school days, I really wanted to practice. But unfortunately, due to lack of opportunities for newly-graduated psychologists who want to practice the science of psychology, I found myself in-between different roads. Those times were indeed difficult for me to understand and it took time before I accepted the sad truth. After spending three months on vacation (trying to apply for a job on a far place), I finally went home to assist my parents on our family business. I spent two years on our shop as an assistant manager and cashier. I also drew and painted a lot during my vacant time. Really determined to explore art, I studied how to use different mediums such as watercolor, oil, and gouache; in the process, accumulating some finished works. By the end of last year, I took the Medical Admissions Test (with passing grades) and then, I was assigned to work as a librarian and secretary, with my father as my boss. During my work, I am saving up for my future studies, hopefully, and pursuing my favorite hobbies such as writing, painting, photography, and reading. I re-connected with myself and settled some personal issues, studied more about my faith and strengthened my relationship with God. I have lost contact with my circle of acquaintances and friends, but I had been more connected with my family. We all go to work and eat together, and travel very often. And by the way, I’m also learning how to drive, so I can cruise the road and travel more, that’s one thing to look forward to!

Currently, I have a plan of writing a book about Islam and Psychology. Still on the process of gathering some related literature and developing the rationale, this endeavor was a long-held dream that I very much look forward to accomplish. Along with this project, I am also building my own art and design firm, White Edges. This summer vacation, I also organize Arabic Classes and prepare Correspondence Lessons. I’m really very busy with activities. With regards to other goals, I’ll probably wait until next year to ‘finally’ decide if I’m still going to pursue Medical School (very, very expensive) or Graduate Studies or continue my work in the field of art and writing. Either way I’m very excited! So much for all the past learnings, there were sad truths, but there are new beginnings, and it’s a blessing to have the opportunity to work anew and explore! :)

With lots of love and creative inspirations,