Writing

Whew! So this little space of mine had turned a year old! I can hardly believe that time runs so fast and within the span of a year, so many things could happen (which I assume, because we’re unaware of it due to our busy-ness). This little space, I recently entitled The Petite Muse, had been a constant companion of my everyday adventures. I started it as a place where I could ‘refine’ and collect my thoughts, everyday life, works, and some random little things I could share to the world. It also became a part of a journey of healing and many discoveries. And starting from scratch, there were many, many things that were learned: exploring art, travels, photography, psychology, food, etc. It also became a treasure chest of memories, of acceptance and letting go of past troubles, some insights from observing life, and strengthening ones faith to God (which is the most important). It was a mixture of a variety of topics all condensed into one.

Sometimes, I think that someone who might accidentally encounter this space will get confused as to what this blog is all about, or if it even makes any sense at all. It’s a work-in-progress, or so as I consider it to be.

Maintaining this space could be very challenging, sometimes a bit scary, and would take much time. Because it needs to be updated regularly, thinking of what topics and content to be included could get a little bit out of the way and tiring at the same time. But happily, I managed to make it a regular habit to drop by here every now and then, and leave something whether it seems interesting or not. And as the days and months passed, it was a truly worthwhile journey, as I’m able to chart how progress went, how insights were formed, and how ideas were put into concrete form. The content here albeit mostly personal, I maintained a style which is constructive, professional, and less emotional in approach, so that memories can be looked at someday as learning experiences which anyone can relate to. I also learned how to take better pictures and got a new camera of my own! What a better way to learn photography!

On the aspect of writing, I believe that it’s very difficult, especially if it’s not done on a regular basis. Because I’m really quiet in person, expressing myself in written form had been one of the better ways where I communicate to others. Although having been writing on newspapers since grade school, I still often get blank due to lack of maintaining a discipline of regular writing. There were many times when apprehension or laziness get in the way so I eventually find myself struggling to express a word on paper or on front of the computer screen. Most of the time, ideas are all jumbled up inside my head but it’s hard to put them into words in written form and making sense out of them. This is always a dilemma that writing people encounter. That’s why it’s very important to practice regularly and find ones pace in writing. In time, when it becomes a habit, words and ideas will come naturally and to express them into writing is indeed a fulfilling activity. In many ways, the writing exercises that I do in this little space every once in a while and keeping journals had helped me a lot in refining my ‘ideas’. I’m currently preparing for a project which will involve a lot of writing and researching. And I’m a bit nervous and excited about it. Hopefully, it gets started soon.

We never really know how and what to anticipate, especially when it comes to the future, but we must not take that into heart as an excuse not to move forward and make more improvements in ourselves and in our society. I’m very excited to look forward for yet another year of many things to be discovered, done and accomplished, if God wills. I hope that this little space will also accompany me with that endeavor as it did for the past year. As a whole, this is a wonderful journey of writing and many discoveries.

A Visit to Botolan, Zambales: In Words and Photographs

Yesterday, we went to Zambales to visit my grandmother. It had become an every year activity of our family and relatives to visit my grandmother at her resting place. Our family, together with our two aunts and some cousins climbed the mountain early in the morning. We started out our travel around 4:00 am while it was still dark. We arrived at Zambales after 3 hours or so, but due to the summer heat, the sun was already up in the sky like it’s already afternoon.

The road leading up to the mountain was rugged, with many huge stones which sparkle with minerals, and red-colored soil. I think I accidentally slipped three times because I forgot to step at the stones. The soil is a bit slippery. Upon reaching our destination, we paid respects to my grandma and afterwards observed the beautiful scenery. The sounds of the gentle breeze, the wide vista overlooking the surrounding mountains, a huge patch of white sand, and the sea at the other end of the horizon was simply breathtaking. We discovered some unusual berries and tasted them including a different variety of cashew, which was colored red: the fruits being very tiny compared to the common yellow one. We picked some unusual stones as we trekked down the mountain since we noticed that the stones were streaked with many minerals glistening under the glaring sunlight.

Around lunch time, we went to a turquoise-colored beach. The sea was as beautiful as the mountains, and because it was an ordinary day, there were hardly any people so everyone enjoyed swimming with the waves! I didn't swim, I just let my feet feel the waves and water as I held my camera and shoot here and there. A happy day it was!

Below are some of the photographs I took (as promised), from the start of the mountain climbing until the sun sets at the sky :-)

Thoughts Recently

Just because everybody is doing wrong will not justify that the wrong becomes right.

Because in the case of morality and correct reasoning, there are no gray areas, there is only good and evil; and nothing in between. So being in an open society that encourages and worships the concept of "FREEDOM,' nobody will recognize what is right from what is wrong - because everyone is FREE to do what they please, even if it means taking off their clothes on the streets, acting lewdly, cursing and saying bad words for everyone to hear, stealing, killing, etc.

When nobody recognize the extent to which their freedom leads them, that will be the start of their destruction.

…

We are all the same: rich and poor. But the person who excels in the eyes of God is not the wealthy or the genius, but the person who is humble and strives to do good and righteousness for the sake of God.

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"How wonderful is the state of the believer. All of his affairs are good for him! And that is not so, except for the believer. If he has cause to be happy, he is thankful, and that is good for him. And if he is afflicted with hardship, he is patient, and that is good for him."

- Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)

...

"There is none more patient when he hears something offensive than Allah (God). They claim that He has a child and a wife, yet He gives them health and provision."

- Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)

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God is Powerful, He is All Mighty, He does not need to die just to redeem any of the sins of His creations. He is just, He rewards those who do good deeds to worship Him, and He punishes those who are arrogant and disobedient: those who refuse to worship Him.

If you claim that He indeed died for your sins, then what kind of god do you really recognize? The god whom you worship is an unjust god, a god who is weak. Your concept of God is corrupted and you blindly follow the religion invented by man, a so-called religion which caters to man's selfish desires.

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The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) related the following saying from Allah (God):

"Strange are you, O' son of Adam! I have created you and you worship other than Me. I show you love by giving you blessings and I do not need you. While you show Me animosity through your sins and you are to Me poor. My good is descending to you and your evil is rising to Me."

…

A man had an argument with his wife and said, "I am going to make your life miserable." The wife calmly replied, "You cannot do that." He said, "Why not?" She said: "If happiness were to be found in money or material things, you could deprive me of it and take it away from me, but it is nothing over which you or any other person has any control. I find my happiness in my faith, and my faith is in my heart, and no one has any power over it except my Lord."

- an excerpt from a book by Aidh Al Qarni

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"And know that if the entire Nation were to gather upon benefiting you with something, they would only benefit you with something that God has (already) written for you. And if they were to gather upon harming you with something, they would only harm you with something that God has (already) written for you."

- Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)

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"God does not judge you according to your bodies and appearances, but He scans your hearts and looks into your deeds."

- Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)

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"Christianity is always adapting itself into something which can be believed."

- T.S. Elliott

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Islam is a misunderstood religion and a way of life. It's about time that we begin to be aware of its importance to our existence, in our life, in our society. It's time that we need to set aside all the false images and accusations that many of its detractors are ascribing to it. Let's open our minds, and our awareness.

If you are a Muslim, be proud to wear your badge of honor, the Deen Islam. Be proud that you recognize and obey your Creator.

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"And indeed the Hereafter is better for you than the present (life of this world). And verily, your Lord will give you (all good) so that you shall be well-pleased."

- Qur'an (93:4-5)

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We are all busy with our worldly affairs, that most of the time, we tend to forget that our life in this world is only temporary.

...

Allah is the Creator of the heavens and the earth. His signs are imprinted throughout the universe and all of the creation pronounces Him to be the Creator, the One with perfect qualities, and the only One Who deserves to be worshiped.

- an excerpt from a book by Aidh Al Qarni

...

When one's main concern becomes the Hereafter, God will make things well for him, and will make richness to dwell in his heart. And the world will come to him despite its unwillingness. And when ones main concern becomes this world, God will will scatter his affairs and will place poverty between his eyes, also the world will not come to him, except was was written for him.

- an excerpt from a book by Aidh Al Qarni

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"...Allah will never change a grace which He has bestowed on a people until they change what is in their own selves."

- Qur'an (8:53)

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O' Allah, we seek refuge in You from anxiety and grief; we seek refuge in You from incapability and laziness; we seek refuge in You from miserliness and cowardliness; we seek refuge in You from the burden of debt and from being overpowered by men.

Ameen

Switching to the Present

After a handful of turbulent, roller-coaster years, I am now ready to face the world again. I don’t mean that I lived behind closed doors, because my life had been spent quite largely under open skies. What I mean is that, I am now ready to face the challenges that await me, this time, hopefully, with calmness and presence of mind. The events that happened and how I learned from them should be enough to serve as lessons as I start my journey again. Sometimes, nostalgia sets in, but it takes only one second to finally reconcile and come to terms with the past, after all, it’s totally absurd to go back and change the past! So why be so stuck? Just let it be. Having to accept brings me assurance, peace of mind. And besides, I don’t have a remote control or a time machine to go back to time and make things right or the way I wanted them to be. I realized that it’s indeed true that we tend to want things which are not good to us, and we also dislike things which are good to us. God has different ways where He teaches us many lessons about life, and most of the time, through ordinary or unexpected events. I have learned that God’s plans are better, and to keep faith and trust in His wisdom is the best thing to do.

So, how did things went for this girl who wanted to be a scientist and psychologist? (Sigh) Thinking about it, it’s been three years since I finished my bachelor’s degree in psychology (so what now), a course which during my school days, I really wanted to practice. But unfortunately, due to lack of opportunities for newly-graduated psychologists who want to practice the science of psychology, I found myself in-between different roads. Those times were indeed difficult for me to understand and it took time before I accepted the sad truth. After spending three months on vacation (trying to apply for a job on a far place), I finally went home to assist my parents on our family business. I spent two years on our shop as an assistant manager and cashier. I also drew and painted a lot during my vacant time. Really determined to explore art, I studied how to use different mediums such as watercolor, oil, and gouache; in the process, accumulating some finished works. By the end of last year, I took the Medical Admissions Test (with passing grades) and then, I was assigned to work as a librarian and secretary, with my father as my boss. During my work, I am saving up for my future studies, hopefully, and pursuing my favorite hobbies such as writing, painting, photography, and reading. I re-connected with myself and settled some personal issues, studied more about my faith and strengthened my relationship with God. I have lost contact with my circle of acquaintances and friends, but I had been more connected with my family. We all go to work and eat together, and travel very often. And by the way, I’m also learning how to drive, so I can cruise the road and travel more, that’s one thing to look forward to!

Currently, I have a plan of writing a book about Islam and Psychology. Still on the process of gathering some related literature and developing the rationale, this endeavor was a long-held dream that I very much look forward to accomplish. Along with this project, I am also building my own art and design firm, White Edges. This summer vacation, I also organize Arabic Classes and prepare Correspondence Lessons. I’m really very busy with activities. With regards to other goals, I’ll probably wait until next year to ‘finally’ decide if I’m still going to pursue Medical School (very, very expensive) or Graduate Studies or continue my work in the field of art and writing. Either way I’m very excited! So much for all the past learnings, there were sad truths, but there are new beginnings, and it’s a blessing to have the opportunity to work anew and explore! :)

With lots of love and creative inspirations,

Maica

Old Days

I don't know if my hiatus was for the better or not. I went through many life changing experiences which changed a lot of my principles and views about life, and I think, it still goes on. It's about three years or so, and I had been enduring some traces of pain from a sort of mournful event. I closed my doors to many people, including my friends, and many acquaintances as well. I closed my life to the outside world and went through a lot of life reflections. In front of my eyes, I clearly saw and still seeing that the things and people I valued the most were not how they really are, and as time went on, I realized how disillusioned I really was. Perhaps I still closed my eyes to the harsh and bitter realities of life. As I went on trying to understand and know what is happening, the world is fast changing, and people are all busy with their lives, and it seemed that as time passes by, I am becoming a stranger.

As I insist on sticking to what I believe in and maintaining my silence, standing still in the middle of the turbulence that happens around, there were many instances as if I was being shoved and pushed away, which I think the reasons being that I refuse to change. Could it be? Or is it me who is changing? There were so many questions I wanted to ask...and at the end of the day, there is silence. There were even times when I didn't expect that a childhood friend whom I valued a lot could change that fast as to treat me like a stranger. It's a sad and hurtful truth and most of the time, I have to accept that it's no more use of expecting that people whom I valued once will always treat me the same as the old days

I never expected that people change a lot. Nor did I thought that my bestfriend will really change. I guess that's life really, people change, some go, and some stay, and it's no denying that we get hurt when they go. Sometimes, we bump on people who were really close to us years ago, just to see that they no longer remember us today.. Change is permanent, and we have to live with it. We even have to embrace it, but as for me, though they might forget me, they will always be on my memory just like they were many years ago. As we go along the way, we encounter new people and make new memories, most of which are very unexpected.

I still manage to go on and pursue many goals and projects. But one of the things that bother me a lot is the habit of 'trying to hold on,' sometimes, a refusal to change. I get sad easily by these things...and it's a freeing experience that once they had come out of my chest, I am more at ease within myself.

"How wonderful is the state of the believer. All of his affairs are good for him! And that is not so, except for the believer. If he has cause to be happy, he is thankful, and that is good for him. And if he is afflicted with hardship, he is patient, and that is good for him."

- Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)

When the tables have been turned, the firm belief that it is Allah Who is the best planner of our lives gives me assurance that everything that happens is for the good, and for a better reason. There is hidden wisdom behind every trial, and the Destiny that God had prepared for every person is what is the best for him. I need to be more patient in waiting for the Will of Allah, and I believe that it in having the trust for His plans and working towards righteousness will finally answer my questions and my prayers.

Travel to Baguio City (Part 2): Sunday in the Mountain of Pines & Flowers