03 June 2012

A Peaceful Life, A Peaceful Mind

Hello Saturday! To note, this day not so much spent on bright colors. Since the weather had been quite unstable outside, an entire day spent on an air-conditioned room brought some chills on my body and abdomen. But before we went home, a pretty table laden with coffee and some bread with strawberry jam brightened up my day and made me ignore the pain somehow. We visited a pretty house and the hosts served us a simple snack. I made friends with a black and white cat and gave him some of the bread I was eating.
And yes, though I really don't want to vent this out. I had been quite lonely lately, in the sense that I had trouble re-connecting with my old friends and acquaintances. I've written about it before, but the disconnection with some people I had known and I believed still valued and remembered me was in a sense, quite disappointing. Well, this is life, what else could I do? I came back not as a career-soaring woman, but as a quiet girl with feet planted on the ground, presenting God's words to them. I tried to let them see my art, but I was met with indifference. I couldn't blame them if they don't remember me anymore because I had been on a healing hiatus for three years, but when I tried to come back, none of them cared to whatever happened to me (and which brought me to doubts if I was that kind of bad person). I still wear my veil and long clothes, I don't wear make-up, I don't wear designer and expensive clothes, I don't flash my smiles and broadcast them to the internet and be liked by people. I don't own expensive gadgets, and I don't belong to any money-making organization. I don't even seek any praise or attention or recognition. What I just wanted to do was to re-connect to them genuinely and let God's words fill them in these very materialistic and approval-seeking times. But only my little brother took the time to read my messages, not the 'friends' I was hoping to read them. I realized then that it's true that the more you stick to your faith and religion, the more people will run away from you because you are different from them. They would rather pay attention to their own invented words and lies instead of surrendering themselves to the Will of God. So, I'm going away from them, just like I had been doing ever-since.
I had been alone, and within my heart, God is with me. He knows me better than the rest of the world, and I found refuge in Him in my loneliness. I have God and my family as my constant companions in my life and it doesn't matter if I get hated or disliked for living and standing up to my own principles and faith. And my happiness does not depend on being liked or being surrounded with many people who, at many times, would only want you for something that you have. God's love and companionship is better, isn't it? Who needs the artificial company of others if God is by your side? Wouldn't it be better to have a quiet, humble, sincere heart and a genuinely lived life instead of a so-called successful life but devoid of genuineness and true faith?
Louons Dieu pour tout, parce que dans tout ce qu'il permet de se produire, il est la bonté ...