09 February 2012

Missed Sketching & Thoughts Recently

It's been quite a while since I haven't got back into art. A couple of months ago, after I finished my last oil painting, I focused on preparing for my Med School exams, thus, I couldn't find the time to squeeze in my favorite hobby that is sketching and painting. After the exams, my time had been mostly spent in reading books, organizing our business records, and doing office activities, strolling on the malls, and spending time with family, traveling, eating, and sleeping. I even found writing a bit difficult, that's why I do have to read books to maintain my fluency with the language. Most of the time, laziness, procrastination, stress, and over-thinking get in the way that I could hardly accomplish the things that I have to do and enjoy the things that I love to do like writing and painting, and recently, experimenting with photography. Stress relief is so important, and sleeping is not even enough. Sometimes, I even think of going away from it all and escape to the mountains, or travel abroad, never to come back here again. But then when I just think about it, what I feel and see with my current condition is only a matter of perspective. Changing how we perceive and interpret situations, events, and people towards which is more positive can greatly reduce the stress and anxiety, and even our own unperceived obsessions. 

I decided to postpone my studies this year. And I must admit that it's difficult to think and decide about it. There were many factors to be considered. It even becomes an issue when dealing with personal reflections. So my plans of pursuing to become a doctor might take a setback as of this time. Being a goal-oriented person, these frustrated plans cause me a great deal of difficulty. What makes me deal with these negative events is having to accept that God might have better plans for me. And I don't want to spend my life in sadness. Though I don't see my future as definitely how I want it to be, I just look around the things around me and appreciate them, and I count myself as being more blessed compared to others who are less fortunate in terms of status in life.

Though I'm a sort of recluse person, I dream of being able to reach out and help others in need: WITHOUT the prying eyes of suspicion or malice. I wish to see more genuine kindness and sincerity in the world. And amid my often misunderstood silence, I wish that I could accomplish my purpose and leave behind a legacy that will be a catalyst for change.