21 January 2014

Human(ity)

Dear blog, how had you been doing? It's been quiet here lately just that photographs just fill the spaces in between. The start of this year I must admit had been sort of a roller-coaster ride for me and I will only lie if I say that all is smooth-sailing, that there are no 'hardships and struggles'. Days that were spent alone at work brooded so many thoughts that had laid dormant since my younger years, but those thoughts sparked again due to a very terrible trial. In as much as the middle of last year when I realized that my faith and connection to the Almighty had been getting stronger, and I was at the point of working my way to be the best who I have to be for Him, unavoidable trials came again, one after the other. I described it to a recently met friend like a 'wound that is almost healing and then someone came with a knife and sliced the wound open and kept on burrowing his hand all over it.' Words aren't even enough to fully describe the pain of the re-opened wound. It's like I can't help asking the question why a person who is so willing to help other people in need will be wounded by them in ways terribly severe and damaging. How despite the night vigils and blackened traces on ones forehead, one asks for God, for the mercy of ones Creator, the opposite happens? When and how will this end? Amid all the terrible pain in my chest, I pray that if death is better for me, that He take away my soul the soonest possible time, because I am very tired...I am bruised all over, the pain in my heart had surpassed any physical pain I had endured all my life. That the moment my heart stops beating and be buried deep in the ground is better for me than to live always like this: enduring one tragedy after the other. They say that trials and difficulties strengthen a person, perhaps that is the way it is for them. But in my case, it seems that everyday, I am getting weaker and weaker. I can't even imagine how much tears my eyes had shed for the past five years. I had just almost recovered from one grief and another and another came again... I feel afraid that none of what I do will ever make sense... Nothing makes sense anymore to me, I am a human being, I cannot achieve the perfection of sincerity towards my Creator when from all sides the devil whispers and influences my thoughts and actions. When and where will I ever achieve certainty and safety? When I read His Book, I feel guilty, and confused...Where is truth? Where is honesty? Where is loyalty? Where is purity? Are humans to be even compared to objects or material things, to fill up base sensations? Aren't we beings with souls and spirits hoping to achieve the highest values that are meant for us?

This is not a happily hypocritical writing, but a lingering truth. A vulnerable humanity.


14 January 2014

13 January 2014

At the Sea



Jardin Extérieur


This is where I spend my afternoons and sometimes evenings: tending the garden, basking under the sun, listening to the twittering birds, looking at the clouds, stars, and moon, and having some coffee while breathing the fresh afternoon air. The weather is particularly cold lately, but what's a little surprising is that the sun is also shining.

The wind from the north pole is perhaps making the air cold especially during mornings.

Sunday Awesomeness!


The World Grows Lovelier Each Day

To Each Her Own

The splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not rob the little violet of its scent nor the daisy of its simple charm. If every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness. 

- Therese of Liseux

07 January 2014

Choice of Life

It is upon our choice either to live a life of peace and happiness, or a life of suffering and hardship. The choice is ours, not what people dictate, or implant on our minds. We are going to face our Creator one day individually and when that day comes, we cannot put the blame on the ones who dictated or controlled our minds and lives. 

Our salvation does not depend on the impositions or opinions of other people nor is it dependent on force or compulsion. Our salvation is dependent upon the Mercy of God, on how responsibly we handled the life that He had given to us, on how we used our own minds and hearts in responding to His guidance.

Life is not meant to be lived on a robotic kind of existence being reduced to a set of do’s or dont’s thus making a person intolerant with bigoted thinking, harshness of temperament or seeing with a tunnel-vision point of view, but it is meant to be be lived according to the guidance of God, with meaning and purpose, with heart and spirit.

We are after all human beings, endowed by God with uniqueness of identity and varying degrees of ability. It is is not fitting that we deprive ourselves of these gifts that He had given us, it would be a sign of ungratefulness. 

Say, "Each works according to his Shakilatihi (intent, manner) but your Lord is most knowing of who is best guided in way.
- Qur’an (Surah Al Isra: 84)

 Indeed, your efforts are diverse.
  - Qur’an (Surah Al Layl: 4)  


...Indeed, your Lord is vast in forgiveness. He was most knowing of you when He produced you from the earth and when you were fetuses in the wombs of your mothers. So do not claim yourselves to be pure; He is most knowing of who fears Him.  
- Qur'an (Surah An Najm: 32)

06 January 2014

Technology


Let us give it a trial. For all of us, the arrangements, device, and machinery of technology are to a greater or lesser extent indispensable. It would be foolish to attack technology blindly. It would be shortsighted to condemn it as the work of the devil. We depend on technical devices; they even challenge us to ever greater advances. But suddenly and unaware we find ourselves so firmly shackled to these technical devices that we fall into bondage to them.

Still one can act otherwise. We can use technical devices and yet with proper use also keep ourselves free of them, that we may let go of them any time. We can use technical devices as they ought to be used, and also let them alone as something which does not affect our inner and real core. We can affirm the unavoidable use of technical devices, and also deny them the right to dominate us, and so to warp, confuse, and lay waste our nature.

- Martin Heidegger, Discourse on Thinking

04 January 2014

Beauty in Uncertainty

One of the beauties of this ephemeral dimension of life is the uncertainty that it affords us: that we have no guarantees of what will happen the next second, the next minute, the next moment, only the limited capacity of our choice and action, only the limited capacity of our perception. It is despite of our limitation, there is still beauty in this nature of uncertainty. Uncertain of what had been pre-decreed (Qadr) for us.

In the end, we have no guarantees and we are uncertain of what will God decide for us: His wrath or His mercy.
 
I am finding beauty in uncertainty again, and perhaps, a balance with certitude as well.

It might seem to be a kind of ambivalence, but for me, it is an act of balancing.
 

Metamorphosis: The Science of Change


This insightful film, though much of its scientific conclusions are based from the evolutionary perspective, proved to be an eye-opener or a review on the concept of metamorphosis. It provided a common ground and reconciliation between the meaning of metamorphosis and the meaning of metaphor, how the two go hand-in-hand, how change is not merely confined to the physical that living things (whether willingly or unwillingly) must go through, but also on what goes beyond that outward transformation: the metaphor or the likening and the meaning behind the change that occurs. What and how does change mean to us as human beings: is it form or in essence, or simultaneously, both?

Metamorphosis – n.
1. process by which certain animals undergo changes in form, structure, or function as they develop from an immature form at birth or hatching to an adult; as the change from a tadpole to a frog.
2. one that which results from such a change.
3. complete or marked change, as of appearance, character or condition.
[Latin metamorphosis transformation, from Greek metamorphosis]

Metaphor – n.
1. figure of speech in which one object or idea is compared or identified with another in order to suggest a similarity between the two.
[Latin metaphora, this figure of speech, from Greek metaphora transference]

- Colliers Dictionary, Vol. 1

In its attempts to understand what metamorphosis implies, drawing from insights on literature, scientific observation and analysis, philosophical and religious explanations, the film addressed the concept of change in a lucid style that makes the observer think about his current condition, even to the extent of prompting him to ask questions and reflect deeply on the reality of how and why he must inevitably face metamorphosis. It has a subtly gentle message far from being harshly dictatorial, thus allowing the observer to think on his own terms and thus be able to understand the process of ‘transformation’ with an open mind; gaining once again a grasp of his own limitation, albeit own humanity.

What is noteworthy on this film is on its style of presentation – its sequencing of the types of metamorphosis among living organisms: from a caterpillar to butterfly, from a larva to sea urchin, from an embryo to human baby, from a tadpole to frog, from a solitary green locust to gregarious multi-colored locust, and finally the change in a person: from lack of self-control, towards exercising choice and free will. Each type of transformation is studied on its own, and then subsequently compared its uniqueness or similarity (metaphorically) to the other succeeding types of metamorphosis; and most importantly, its relevance on understanding our own selves.

In integrating that kind of understanding, a person is able to know, differentiate and reconcile the two kinds of metamorphosis that he is facing: the physical and the metaphorical. All people undergo transformations throughout the course of their lives, but the most deceptive of all is the physical change. One might look into the mirror and in a sense of horror or fascination, mistakenly sum up the totality of ones own being to what one sees as an image of oneself in the mirror, and even make a conclusion that the image which is being projected in the mirror is exactly who one is. But no matter how or what manner one appears from the outside, whether physically pleasant or unpleasant, bears little or even no bearing at all on who one really is. In attempts to discover oneself, the outside appearance most often betrays the essence of who one really is: the quality of inner self.

As a person progresses through life, both physical and inner transformations take place and the totality of a person is not entirely based on only one component, but rather, a balance of both, or even a better and progressing condition of the inner self: which is transformed into maturity through wise and knowledgeable perception and handling of life experiences. Thus, if one looks into the mirror and sees an entirely different person, one reconsider what he sees from the outside and take a deeper view and be able to see the inner self which, through the progression in life seeks to metamorphose into maturity.

Unlike the insects and animals whose bodies are especially designed to change into entirely different adult forms, a person is facing two kinds of metamorphosis: the changes which he has to confront over which he has absolutely no control (aging, illnesses, or accidents for example), and changes that he can face where he is equipped with the freedom of choice and ability to use his innate faculties of thought, observation, emotion, perception, language and course of action.

Another factor which sets a person different from animals and other creatures is his ability to recall and remember who he was before, and in that process of recalling, can feel a sense of regret or pain on seeing his old, unchanged self transforming into another completely different being, or feel vice versa. The process of recollection can be emotionally arduous. It can be compared to mourning for the loss of an endeared object of compassion, for instance, the experience of death and grief.

But why it is that this detachment of libido (love) from its objects should be such a painful process is a mystery to us and we have not hitherto been able to frame any hypothesis to account for it. We only see that libido (love) clings to its objects and will not renounce those that are lost…Such then is mourning.

 …how ephemeral were many things that we had regarded as changeless.

- Sigmund Freud, On Transience

In this process of recall, change occurs not only in the collective minds of humanity, but also in altering the course of history, changes in society, and which will eventually return to the individual himself. The person can be said to be ambivalent when it comes to this reality: while he considers change to be an integral part of his identity and existence, ironical as it seems to be, something holds him back equally as well - that he may look back and experience the pain of remembering, and thus feel regret of what one has or will become.

Because of the freedom of choice, a person’s perception of change becomes ambivalent, uncertain and without any clear-cut definition, unlike that of the caterpillar to a butterfly whose metamorphosis is simple and straightforward.

Change and why in varied ways our nature of humanity responds to it thus, is an open-ended question that the presenter of the film asks by the end of his reflection and analysis. “Maybe,” he said, “that’s being human is about.”

A person’s metamorphosis can occur, not only because there is a destiny that awaits him with forces which are beyond his control, but also because he has freedom to choose, to decide, and to change. He is the same with the animals and insects in the aspect of physical change, but at the same time, his difference from them stems from the fact that he has the ability to metamorphose, to transform his very own perception, thought, emotion, mind, behavior, and character (his inner self) into something, into someone completely different.

Later on, looking towards the fading sun, he reflects or even has the choice to return to the earlier condition of his being and truest essence. Such then is metamorphosis. Such then is transformation.

01 January 2014

First Day

Usually, I simply consider the first day of a year as just any other normal day, but the last day of the year is what I consider a bit more significant. Significant in a sense that it allows me to review and reflect how the previous year had been spent, and how through the days, I see myself grow into a better person. For sure, it was a year of uncertainties: both an eclectic mix of happy days when I just want to jump up and down out of rejoicing, or sad days when I just want to bury myself deep on the earth.

But no matter how intensely overwhelming or uneventful the days, weeks, months, years that pass by, one thing had proven true - that we learn lessons out of them, we grow because of them, and we become wiser as we progress through the years.

Setting aside our personal self-centeredness of the way we perceive life, of simply seeing things based on our own point of view, the years that pass by are meant to be for one ultimate purpose; the day we will return to our Creator is getting nearer and nearer. What will happen on that day? How much had we prepared for the day when we meet Him? Will his wrath descend on us because we insisted on rebelling on Him, or will His Mercy be greater despite our sins and shortcomings? The more we inspect our intent, the more we look into our actions (both of the heart and the limbs) how our days are spent: are we doing enough and are we living our life accordingly?

The answer of a blogger, teacher and Imam had very well made me think of the concept of the start of a year:
The earth has a giant orbit, while it rotates constantly.
Everyday could be New Years. Any minute. Any second. Days, months, years, these are all constructions based on our assumptions on this earth, that could change should we be in another planet, let alone another spiritual plane, and so what value does this change have to my heart?
I think the concept of New Years illustrates the power of an idea, how it changes our hearts, how it inclines us to act, how it pushes us to want to do better, even for a little.
And so, I take these moments to underline in my mind what true consciousness of God could be if I so willed. What I am capable of should I so desire to let this certain knowledge of God to truly engross my entire heart.
I try to seek closeness to God, so that I may attain His pleasure through awareness of Him.

30 December 2013

At The Garden

There is something in me that makes me tied up to events in the past, some kind of predilection of collecting, recording, and re-collecting memories, though in actual reality, I am a very forgetful person.

Once again, I link up a few hours spent last 25th of December, 2012 to what I did last 25th of December this year. I spent both days at the home garden. At first glance, both places (the garden) may look nothing less than ordinary. But with a harder look, one can see beauty even in what others will just pass judgment as being insignificant and not worthy of attention. Even the tiny rocks on a pot can exude a different kind of elegance with their shades of colors and textures. One can find beauty, peace and calm even if being alone with nature. Even in silence, these creations extol praises to the One who created them, no matter how insignificant they appear to others.


The times I feel most alive are when I’m caught up in something that makes me forget myself. Art. Work. Other people. Nature. God.
—  Donald Miller



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