23 May 2012

Less Expectations

The past few weeks had been quite busy and I had to admit that I made some effort to reach out to some of my acquaintances, though, in limited terms. I noticed that there had been many changes, and some that remained the same. I found the noise and the hustle-bustle of other people to be very disturbing, to say the least. I tried reactivating my account on a social networking site which I joined around three years ago. As I browsed through its feature called ‘news feed,’  the lives and the noise of other people were publicly broadcasted, including the tiniest details and seemingly nonsense things are being shared for everyone to see. To at least try mitigating the somewhat materialistic and attention-seeking people that I know and see there, I posted some inspirational and Islamic messages so that they could read them and get acquainted with the Islamic Faith. To my surprise, no one actually paid attention to my messages, including the people who were calling themselves Muslims! How could this happen? There were even Muslims who were posting things about Islam, but these very people are using God’s words to seek popularity and be liked by people! Isn’t this a form of associating partners to God, isn’t this a form of conceit and hypocrisy? Afterwards, I posted some art and photography-related stuff, and then, lo, there were a number of positive feedbacks! How could this happen?

Are people getting more and more worldly and senseless about the true realities of life? Why are they so heedless about God, about faith, about the transitory reality of this worldly life? Aren’t they aware that this world is only a test, and a deception? That one day, they are all going to die? They are doing all their best to get everything that they want, but for what purpose? They had become so blinded to the truth, what they seek are money, material things, fame, popularity, attention, all the transient things that take away the remembrance of God. They wander about in life, doing all that they want, while being rebellious to God and insist on disobeying Him! How could they be so ingrate! They had made their own freedom and desires as their god! Isn’t this a form of idolatry? No one values solitude, beautiful silence, faith, and the simple joys of life of always remembering God and appreciating the signs that He shows to us. No one appreciates the truth and the genuineness of being a true human being, free from the lies, deceit, and corruption of values of this so-called modern society. It’s so sad to see that many are losing their sense of shame, exposing what is not meant to be exposed, saying nonsense and vulgar words, while they proudly wave the flags of the sins that they commit.

We are all to be reminded that one day, each one of us is going to be questioned as to how we spent this life. Because in the first place, we are not our own creator, we are not born in this world due to our own liking or to a mere chance or coincidence. We were once not a thing worth mentioning, and one day, we will only be thing not worth mentioning too. And even if we admire ourselves and take pains of overly admiring our fellow creations, one day, we will all face the One with whom we owe our existence. We were given a body, a mind, a free will, and intelligence to discern as to what we should do with this life. Along with these qualities is a responsibility to undertake, not to merely satisfy ourselves and do everything that we want. That responsibility is to recognize and worship the One God who created us, and obey His commands, and stay away from the things which he forbids us. No one knows what is better to His own creation except the Creator. The created cannot be better than the Creator. And even if the created thinks that he is better and that he can rely on himself, he will only deceive himself, because he is still subjected under the Power and Command of God. When God orders something that means that it is for our own good, and when He forbids something, that means that it will be harmful to us. But many people choose to ignore and be blind to this truth. They choose to rely on their own limited thinking and judgment, and invented things which are contrary to the truth.
“…Thus we have made fair-seeming to each people its own doings; then to their Lord is their return and He shall then inform them of all that they used to do.” (Qur’an 6:108)
 Praise God, I am very thankful to simply just be a quiet introvert and so-called ‘aloof’, because I choose to stay away from the corrupted environment that I see around me. Had it been that I was more noisy and sociable, I could have risked myself of the dangers that I might encounter by associating with corrupted and evil people. I had been through this and that, and with the yet twenty-something years of my life, I had experienced the worst and observed the worst.

I should learn this time to expect less from myself and less from other people, and rest my hope to the Will of God, the Provider of Everything. At first, there were many trials in life that were hard for me to accept and understand. But through these obstacles, God gave me what is better and what I truly deserve.

Sometimes, I cry and my chest feels as if it were to burst open because of the extreme pain and the alienation that I experience with my environment and surroundings, while I see that people are becoming noisier, immoral, superficial, and heedless and refuse to believe to the truth. I wish to travel and live to a far place where I could worship God more and strengthen my faith, to be surrounded with people like me who are genuinely practicing Islam and are staunch against anything that will corrupt it. 

I could not bear to compromise my principles just to conform and belong, because I believe that it is not right to compromise my faith just for a temporary and shallow gain. They may get everything that they want in this world, but I have preferred to stick to my faith and religion and hope for the Hereafter which is better. I wish to fully adhere to my contract with God, which is to worship Him alone, and obey Him, and in the end, I ask Him for the better one which is Paradise, insha'Allah. 

(Written May 12, 2012)